We talked for some time of how to fill and reuse capsules Nespresso empty in “seedy” plan.
Now they begin to appear companies that sell various systems to make the subject something cheaper and clean.
ne-cap , gives us empty capsules similar to Nespresso, which are filled first coffee or tea that we most want, then take off a role that protects an adhesive on the edge, then applying aluminum to seal it . According to the manufacturer saves 66%
Seen the video seems simple, but which will not be the end result because I think that the sealing of the capsule by this method will never be like that of the original:
nespresso compatible tea capsules has developed a unique packaging of coffee in an aluminum capsule, hermetically sealed which maintains an ideal internal pressure which preserves about 900 aromas and flavors of fresh ground coffee for 12 months until the last moment of tasting. The capsule ensures the preparation of a perfect espresso and with consistent quality.
The Nespresso capsule is provided with an internal food varnish which prevents any contact between the ground coffee and aluminum. It is an individual capsule and contains the right amount of finely ground and not lyophilized to prepare an espresso.
First, to encourage you to write your first joke in English, you need to read and hear a terrific joke in English. Let’s do it…
Nobody Talks to Me!
Nobody Talks to Me: Listen …
There’s this man. I does the same thing every day from Monday to Friday. First, I gets up at half past seven and has a bath Then I have breakfast and goes to work in the office. I gets to the office at half past eight.
Nobody says, “Good morning” to him, nobody says, “Hello, how are you, today?”. Nobody looks at him. I works at His Computer.
At a quarter to eleven, I goes to the coffee shop and have a cup of tea. Nobody sits next to him and nobody talks to him. I drinks tea and says nothing His.
The next day is Wednesday. I does not go to work, I see the goes to doctor. I goes into the Doctor’s surgery and says, “Doctor, what’s the matter with me? Nobody talks to me!”
The shouts doctor, “next, please!”.
(Glossary: the same thing = the same thing, gets up = get up, you have a bath = take a bath, you breakfast = breakfast, nobody = no, cup of tea = cup of tea next to him = beside , the next day = the next day does not go = not go, the doctor’s surgery = the doctor, what’s the matter with me? = What is happening to me ?, “next, please!” = -¡ next Please! )
That was pretty funny, right? but do not get too excited yet; before you write your first wonderful English joke, we must look at some technical data.
a) Notice how the whole joke is written in the present tense, which is similar to the style of Spanish joke. When an English or American person (USA) tells a joke or has some events in a conversational way, it is common to use the present tense. The effect of turning the monologue into a more immediate story.
b) Look at the beginning of the joke: “There’s this man.” It is not usually mention the name of the person concerned unless necessary for understanding the joke. Similarly, the mention of all not relevant to ‘punch line’ data is prevented (the key phrase that ends the joke.) Too much data is not relevant bored and even confuses the listener. So, tell a joke does not share the same style the story of literary prose, where there is much ‘filler’.Other ways to start the joke might be: “There’s an Irishman, a Spaniard and an Englishman …”, “Two men and a woman are on a desert island …” etc.Normally, we avoid phrases that belong to the literary style as: “One day …”, “Once upon a time …”.
c) However, yes, a preamble which serves to produce a prior period is required; the anticipation of the punch line. If we analyze this joke, the listener (or reader) does not detect anything of grace until the last sentence of joke: ‘The shouts doctor, “next, please!”.’ But this does not mean that the listener / reader gets bored during the story of the preamble, although not enjoy a particularly literary style is assimilating the data essential for understanding the punch line end. The two components are required joke each other and individually do not have any value.
A good introduction, then, must include all information necessary for understanding the punch line and last for a long enough period to create an atmosphere of anticipation but not so long to bore the listener / reader. If you’ve heard someone with great skill in telling jokes, you may have noticed that listeners laugh often at the end even if they have not understood the joke by the great skill that the narrator has shown to have the preamble and produce anticipation.
d) Another feature of a joke can be a tendency to repeat facts or language within the same story. A technique of rhetoric employed by politicians and great orators. The repetition of events (usually 3 times) in the preamble can accentuate the contrast of the punch line. That is, como aprender ingles na internet, repeated events show what is normal and constant or the punch line stands out as completely different from normal. Repetition also serves as a tool in the story to illustrate and emphasize few words the character of the protagonist or characteristics of a situation.
Here ‘s an example. In this joke we repeat that facilitates the reader a sketch of the important facets of the character of the protagonist: Nobody says, “Good morning” to him, nobody says, “Hello, how are you, today?”. Nobody looks at him. And then a little later: ‘Nobody sits next to him and nobody talks to him. ‘ The message is clear: this guy is a bastard and nobody wants! This repetition emphasizes and explains the grace of the final event; the fact that the doctor ignore the existence of man and call the next patient happens: “Next, please!”
Get home and meet a full of all those things you like instead (and make you smile) is the beginning of the trend Happy Chic that increasingly finds its way among designers
Was Jonathan Adler , considered by critics as a guru in decorating themes, who gave meaning to this proposal until a few years seemed-fetched.
Adler’s proposal was based on a list of ideas which he published in his manifesto , among which highlighted the make home a happy place.
Visual humor: decorate and make it fun
Many of the current projects of decoration Happy Chic are inspired by the work of stampin up, which prioritized much in the use of color as a central element, which breaks with the idea that less is more (minimalism) and recreating environments fun as the house of the popular doll Barbie .
The fidelity to detail forms the basis of this proposal. The bright colors, fringes, retro ceramics, prints seventies and even the bizarre objects can be given together in one place.
Nathalie Roca , interior and fashion designer, owner of Tangle , has a special liking for this item.We talked with her so that we can illustrate more about this trend and did not hesitate to highlight three key style that seem basic Adler:
Color and more color: closely identified with summer colors denoting freshness (garish yellow, green, orange, blue in all ranges)
Zero minimalism: tassels, fringes, prints of the 70’s, ornaments, ceramics; everything that enhances the luxury.
Handmade objects: everything handmade craft or simply enhances and adds value to life.
YOUR HOME TO MAKE YOU HAPPY!
Principles Happy Chic decor
Nathalie had already passed us some of the key proposed by Adler style you definitely have caused great controversy among specialists of the subject. Other parameters of his “philosophy” talk about:
Taste for craftsmanship : the “goodies” are welcome and will always be to enhance the life of any space.
Minimalism is a pain : alluding to the maximalism is most appropriate for the space to be happy and fun.
The child elements are suitable : use hearts, butterflies, stuffed animals and all those things that had left the room for your baby.
The colors never come into conflict: the chromatic scale does one and sees no way to be a clash between the great variety of tones there.
How is the work of Adler?
Break schemes has always been criticized, but, breaking rules set by the beautiful and the right one is worse. This was the work of Adler, show that calories matter little when it comes to eating something sweet.
In much of his work they include complementary colors and special prints, silhouettes of animals used (I seem to have seen especially the use of giraffes) and intense colors without much their combination.
Happy Chic Decorating Ideas
Is it easy to carry the Happy Chic style home? If! You can start as basic shapes like buying a newcarpet of colors to replace the classic vintage carpet, paint vases of a more striking color. Cover these serious armchairs with some cushions and shapes and colors Children thousands of ideas.
Nathalie also looks very easy idea to bring the Happy Chic home, she recommends
Vases and lamps in fresh and bright colors.
Contrast pads stamped with flowers and butterflies (always easy to change linings)
Opt for stickers in strong colors (you can find designs on the Internet)
Interior decorated in the style Happy Chic!
We should note that this style is rough terrain, the possibilities are endless and although perhaps not necessary to use 100% technical, if we can add details that give vitality and modernity home. Nathalie Roca adds “I personally like and everything is possible and can break the boundaries of the everyday ”
Happy Chic decor in the office
Sure you also happens that you’re thinking: And how I take this style to my office , the place where I spend more time? The same question came to me, so I asked the question to Nathalie … these were their responses
It would be ideal in the workplace! Forget the boring and the formality without losing image we want to convey to our customers. We can translate it into small details on our desk as a table lamp or even colors colorful stationery.
The Happy Chic goes well with steel , which would give elegance to our workspace, decorative pillows in shades of orange with dark brown sofas.
Contrasts in color, ornate mirror or picture that is the focal point of the room, always taking carenot to fall into excesses because the tastes of customers that come to an office are varied.
If we have a corporate color , use in its various shades, if it is a female office we exaggerate a little more.
Not all clowns are to be scary, but certainly horrify many children . Even the appearance of friendly and happy clowns can be frightening, and apart from the darkness, I would say that clowns are the leading cause of terror in children
I know almost no one was afraid of clowns as a child. The point is that when you see a clown in a movie, you tend to remember. Even if the clown does not scare you often think, “I’m sure I would have screwed by patabajo if he had seen as a child”
I have compiled a list of the clowns in the film, and really, seen through the prism of the age, I think that there is not any fear. Check out 10 of memorable clowns in movies, and all of them are available to Watch Movies Online
1. Pennywise the Clown dancer – “ It “ (1990)
Pennywise is the scariest clown, and he was the first that came to mind when I decided to create this list. In the television miniseries (which I think we can count as a movie), Pennywise the Dancing Clown is played by the always creepy Tim Al Curry. The clown is just one of the ways of ‘That’, with long claws and fangs. Frightening for children.
This film series B has the adventures of a clown, pet a burger, is possessed by the devil and comes to life to start a bloody massacre, ordered by the very Ronald McDonald Lucifer.Shock therapy so that our children do not eat filth.
3. Dead Clown – “ Billy Madison “ (1995)
And that was a comedy of Adam Sandler …. Hey, guys! ¿You thought I was dead? Nope … when I put on stilts and I fell, I just broke my neck and have a brain hemorrhage!
4. “murderers Clowns from Outer Space “ (1988)
If I had not seen this movie many years ago, I would not have believed it was real – how absurd it is. Many of you neither know, but do not you lose nothing. A group of aliens (which have the appearance of clowns) come to planet Earth. When the ship lands takes the form of a circus tent, two boys who were seen around the ship and go to investigate. It turns out that a good punch in the nose is the best way to deal with these characters. Come with you for some candy ….!
5. possessed Clown – ” Poltergeist “ (1982)
The scene where the clown comes to life is by far the most terrifying scene that a child can imagine for a movie. I present the origin of the Colourofobia smiling.
6. “Shakes The Clown” (1992)
“Shakes The Clown” is a cult movie about an alcoholic depressive clown trying to be the star of a children’s program whose habits and disorderly life they put the things a little harder than normal. Written and directed by Bobcat Goldthwait, like many of the other clowns and mimes in this film, Shakes is worried about his condition interpreter, especially in the context of subculture clown. When not performing at birthday parties, Shakes kibble is half day. A true child melodrama.
7. Krusty the Clown – “The Simpsons Movie” (2007)
Krusty could not miss in this list. Almost all the characters in The Simpsons can even think they came to the film, and Krusty is no exception. And become an icon, Krusty is something of a tragic figure, one can say that years and years of pressure to be funny they have really left their mark on him. It is perhaps the only clown in this list that is not terrible, but when you think about all drinking and smoking snuff, which is not exactly clean wheat.
8. Captain Spaulding – “House of 1000 Corpses” (2003)
Captain Spaulding appears in two films of Rob Zombie, “House of 1000 Corpses” and “The Devil’s Rejects.” She takes her role seriously clown, and defended quite cruelty of all attacks on his profession. Captain Spaulding is the leader of the Firefly clan and the “father” of this family of serial murderers.
9. The Joker – “Batman” (1989) and (2008)
Ledger makeup was not like a clown, but Nicholson’s Joker was much payasil. In addition to more traditional work of makeup, wearing bright and colorful costumes, and a variety of weapons of comedy, “cordial” handshake. Also you are recommended to watch series online of Batman, it’s worth your time to enjoy this series at least once in your life.
10. Clown – “Spawn” (1997)
In its true form, Clown is a demon from hell, but spends his free time on Earth in the form of a short, fat clown. He is in charge of Al Simmons follow the path of evil. No wonder nothing that was chosen.
Oh, how we love embarrassed with the books! You know: several tragedies, deaths, separations, family problems, duels… and is that much more sad is a book, deeper, deeper, more good looks. But at this stage in life, we already know that it is not so, and although there are depressive texts that are wonderful, there is also know to recognize the merit of the book that makes us happy. Or if not happy, Yes at least laughing.
Although in this laugh is difficult to have unanimity.First because one will consider a book fun to making you smile is, and other makes that desternillarse out loud. To follow, because one will appreciate the irony, and other absurd humour, one macabre roll and another the scatological. Although I suspect that when a book is funny really, give equal of that group we are, that we will make grace.
In any case, here a list d ise 10 fun books that deal with post-holiday, depression to the summer in September was a fraud and up to what’s there is a sad holiday until December. Courage, friends and great reading!
1. the daily secret of Adrian Mole – Sue Townsed
We cannot deny here as fans we are Sue Townsed since we read his first book will make (glups) about 17 years. But ‘the daily secret of Adrian Mole ‘and’growing problems of Adrian Mole “are novels which continue to do you laugh have the age you have (even the rest of the saga, although somewhat more nice).” English humor and irony along all the texts that are characterized by a teenage sabichon, already something quite laughable by itself. I dared not put another juvenile book so do not believe that I am an immature, but “war at home” of Anne Fine, is another book that I can laugh again and again.
2. The girl on the train – Paula Hawkins
The Girl on the Train is a psychological thriller novel publish in 2015 and written by a British author Paula Hawkins. To download or read the novel online, please click the girl on the train pdf.
3. ‘the importance of being earnest‘-Oscar Wilde
And for who wants to be airs, who knows that there are also comic books among the classics. A comedy about the uses and customs of the (high) society, something that always gives much play.
4 ‘Wilt‘-Tom Sharpe
Another English novel (Yes, are those who most know this) about traditions and customs of society, but in this case, a little more current. And a little more crude and scatological.
5. ‘the conspiracy of fools‘-John Kennedy Toole
Acid and bitter in equal parts, ‘Conspiracy of fools’ presents a protagonist who would like that morality and the way of medieval life resurgiesen from the ashes, but should adapt to the modern capitalist world today.
6. ‘why things‘-Quim Monzó
30 short stories, about love and relationships, but from a perspective very sarcastic. Perhaps not can be considered as humorous, but fun sports awhile.
7 ‘suddenly calling to the door‘-Etgar Keret
A small jewel newfound (for us) is this collection of short stories with a surreal twist on everyday life.
8 ‘the evil of Portnoy‘-Piliph Roth
And after the English humor, is the Jewish humor popularized by Woody Allen (who also have some funny book). Roth presents a Jew that goes to the psychoanalyst to tell the problems that brings his obsession with sex.
9. ‘ thank you, Jeeves! ‘ – P.G. Wodehouse
‘ Thank you Jeeves’ is the first of a long series of novels, and all we found the pairing between Bertie Wooster, the millionaire vague, lover of women and the good life, and not very smart, and Jeeves, the Butler who takes of all the messes.
10 ‘News pump! ‘- Evelyn Waugh
Waugh was based on his own experience as a war correspondent to write this satire of tabloid journalism in which a collaborator naturalist of a newspaper is sent by mistake to cover a war in an African country.
In 2008, shortly after the release of the first film Iron Man starring Robert Downey Jr. , another film which, although not initiated any vast film world premiered, if it meant a firm step in the progress of a saga that eventually It would be one of the superhero trilogies most acclaimed and popular.
The Dark Knight deepened all the merits he had before Batman Begins , and took them further, becoming not only one of the best adaptations of comics in the film, but simply one of the best films of the first decade of the century .
One of the keys to The Dark Knight , as everyone knows, was the presence of the Joker played by Heath Ledger , in what would be his most acclaimed and admired performance, but unfortunately also the last.
Nobody like the director Christopher Nolan to see closer some of the details related to Heath Ledger and his last performance, so here collect several statements and considerations about the director of Heth Ledger and the Joker, who has made over the years. If you are a big fan of Batman or Joker also, you can watch the series of Batman at Project Free Tv.
No. 6 The opening sequence
From the opening sequence of The Dark Knight , in which a group of criminals with clown masks assault a bank, it is evident the magnetic and charismatic presence of the Joker, when the true character behind the mask is revealed.
It is the first appearance of the Joker, with all its theatricality, with his distinctive voice and his peculiar irony (“What do you think?” yells the bank manager, and the Joker says, “I believe that what does not kill you simply makes you … stranger “), but this sequence had to be shot twice, due to a mistake by Christopher Nolan, who shot out of focus (the director was still getting used to using IMAX cameras).
When she called to announce that Heath Ledger should record this part again, the actor thought he had something in his portrayal of the Joker who had not liked the director. While Nolan assured him several times that it was because a film out of focus, Ledger never fully believe him, and he was convinced that his first appearance as the Joker had not conformed to Christopher Nolan.
# 5 duel
WARNER BROS. / DARKKNIGHT / FACEBOOK
Heath Ledger died a few months after completing the filming of The Dark Knight, while still detracted several post-production work on the film.
In an interview with Entertainment Weekly , Nolan commented about how he was mourning the death of the actor to him:
“For me, my process was simply working on the film, fight her, I felt really lucky to have something to do. To most people who knew him more than me, who were close to him were really hard times, it was very difficult for his family and for all. I was lucky: I had a specific job to do, and I felt a huge responsibility to honor “.
No. 4 The fascination with performing
Even when he was not shooting a scene, it was near Ledger Nolan and the film crew to learn more about the process of filming of The Dark Knight .
In Nolan wrote an article for Newsweek , he said:
“During the nights of filming in Chicago filming all the stunts with stunt.These can be very boring times for an actor, but Heath was fascinated, eagerly accepting our invitation to get into the car with the camera while filming great persecutions in the middle of traffic, not only by the adrenaline of the trip, but to be part of all the process. He even had his laptop in the car, and on one occasion had the opportunity to see two of his still unfinished videos, recorded at high speed. I never felt as old as I did watching Heath explore the talents in this way. “
No. 3 One of his favorite scenes
Obviously, for a movie like The Dark Knight , a legendary superhero and his most iconic villain, one of the key scenes it was the Batman and the Joker face-to-face in the interrogation room. This scene is recognized because, as stated in an interview Christian Bale, Heath Ledger asked to be real hit with full force, to give more realism.
Christopher Nolan also talked about this scene:
“The most important and central scene for me is to the interrogation room between Batman and the Joker. When we were writing the script, this was always one of the first things we wanted to define. On the set of recording, we shot quite early, it was actually one of the first scenes that Heath had to record as the Joker.
Heath had told me that from early in the shooting wanted to dive into one of the most important scenes in the film, so in the first three weeks of a process that lasted seven months, we recorded this. We both liked the idea of just dive into it early, and Christian Bale. “
# 2 Connection
Heath Ledger and Christopher Nolan knew long before The Dark Knight , and had met several times at the prospect of working together, for example when the manager offered him Ledger the role of Batman himself to Batman Begins , which was rejected by the actor.
Since before even existed script The Dark Knight , Ledger was already interested in doing the Joker. Nolan said this:
“We had met Heath many times in the past for various projects, but had never been finalized anything. I think he knew that I was looking for someone for the role of the Joker, even before we had a script, and then found out I was really interested. When we met, we realized that we both had the same ideas and concepts about how this character would be and how it should be interpreted. “
No. 1’s legacy and the Joker Heath Ledger
In an article in tribute to Heath Ledger, Christopher Nolan wrote shortly after his death to Newsweek , the director spoke of heartfelt way about the actor and his work on The Dark Knight :
“When you walk into the editing room after filming a movie, feel the responsibility that you owe an actor who has trusted in your work, and Heath gave us everything really. When I started editing, I put special care in every shot he chose, in every court he did. I imagined Heath showing the final cut-we sit two or three rows behind him, watching the movements of his head and looking for clues about what she was thinking about what we’d done with that performance that handed it to us. Now that screening will never exist. I see it every day in the editing room, study her voice, her face. And I will miss terribly. “
We collect some of the most amazing tone rises jokes that you probably spent overlooked in your favorite children’s movies.
Once have you returned to watch movies online that you saw not since childhood and discover a joke something rise in tone? It is not something exceptional that children’s films that less could expect adult jokes have something spicy that go unnoticed for the smallest of the House but that are received with astonishment by adults. Here are some of the most amazing jokes found in your favorite children’s movies:
The return of the witches (1993)
“- We want children, – Hey, just need a couple of tries but don’t think it’s problem”.
“-And then that, that works, that Oedipus thing!” Guy and thought I had problems! “.”
“- The size of foot? – foot size doesn’t matter”.
The film of the Rugrats (1998)
“-Hey, have cut me the (umbilical) cord – consider yourself lucky”.
“-So that’s the castle of Lord Farquad, do you think that it is trying to compensate for something?”
Aladdin and the King of thieves (1995) (watch series online of this film here)
“I thought that land not should move to the Moon honey!”
Do you know more adult jokes hidden in children’s movies?
The film based on the erotic novel by E.L. James writer, tells the passionate relationship between the newly graduated universidd, Anastasia Steele, and a young Tycoon, Christian Grey(Watch full movie online at movie tube).
This Friday comes to our cinemas film that many were waiting for: 50 shades of darker pdf. Without have been released yet, it is already evident that it will be one of the blockbusters of the year, since the adaptation of the erotic trilogy has broken all records in pre-sale tickets of face to its premiere, on the eve of Valentine’s day. Here are some facts that should be aware if you are going to Watch Movies Online:
1. the origin of the idea
50 shades of Grey was born as an erotic story based on thetwilightsaga. Emerged between the years 2009 and 2011 as a notice of ‘fan-fiction’ by fans of twilight, which was E.L. James, author of 50 shades of Grey. Access to these texts was free and could be from the internet via the ‘fanfiction.net’ page. On this website, the author was going up and putting different chapters available to fans of the twilight saga as it was destroying them, chapters that finally would end up forming the three books that we know today as the erotic trilogy.
2. the name of the main character
Originally, the names of the protagonists were Isabella and Edward, as well as the vampiric better-known novel. Later, the author decided to rename them and call them Christian and Anastasia. (E) female character called Anastasia, in reference to the Russian Grand Duchess Anastasia of Russia, daughter of the last Tsar of Russia, Nicolás II. And it is that E.L. James studied history at the University and his thesis thesis was precisely about “The end of the tsars” in Russia. So loved the writer so that history, which named the Duchess Anastasia to the protagonist of her book.
3. actors who interpret to Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele
For the role of Christian Grey were considered up to 18 different, including actors Robert Pattinson, Henry Cavill, Ryan Gosling, Chris Hemsworth and Chris Evans. The first choice was Charlie Hunnam, star of the TV series sons of anarchycult, but this resigned from the role of agenda problems. So, finally, the role of Christian flock has been interpreted byJamie Dornan, who was born in Belfast (Northern Ireland), and before becoming an actor was underwear model. Jamie Dornan is 32 years old, is 85 meter, has blue eyes and brown hair. You have had brides celebrities such as Sienna Miller, Keira Knightley, Kate Moss and Mischa Barton, but her great love is Amelia Warner, an actress and model famous in England.
On the other hand, until the ‘casting’ closed for the film, Alexis Bledel, Lucy Hale, Emilia Clarke, Felicity Jones and Emma Watson were some of the names that sounded to interpret Anastasia Steele, the innocent student who falls for the billionaire Christian Grey.However, Dakota Johnson was who convinced Director and took the role of Anastasia.Dakota, daughter of Don Johnson and Melanie Griffith, was born 25 years ago in Austin, Texas. It has natural blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. However, many fans of the trilogy said that Dakota was not pretty enough for the role of Anastasia Steele and the film producers sent a letter with 6,000 signatures, asking for change of actress.
4 differences between the book and the film
Nearly all adaptation of a book to the big screen brings some differences with regard to the original text. Thus, 50 shades of Grey film wasn’t going to be an exception and will have variations with respect to the successful trilogy of E.L. James.
One of the most significant is the inability to consistently reflect the thoughts of the protagonist. On the other hand, to get that teens may be accompanied by adults, is lowered somewhat sexual history load.
However, it is already spoken of the possibility of launching a second tone more uploaded mounting and more faithful to the book of James.
Another element that will introduce the film will be the music. It has cared for the soundtrack, something in which one does not think while reading a book.
5. will a fourth book there be?
The three books of the series (fifty shades of Grey, fifty darker shadows and fifty released shadows) added 1,792 pages that already have devoured around 50 million readers, both in paper and in version e-book. The success of the trilogy is because, according to experts, a studied balance between romance and sex, which has especially seduced the female audience and that has revolutionized the sales charts. Given the success and generated profits, rumored Erika Leonard James, author of the bestseller, could publish a fourth book in the series since readers around the world continue with the desire to read more adventures of the main couple: Christian Grey millionaire and his girlfriend, Anastasia Steele.
6. The novel has another version.
Have you ever imagine that the book has another version? It sounds ridiculous because you would think someone fake it. However the truth is: the novel has a twin brother called “Fifty Shades of Grey as told by Christian” and that is official. The author want you to have an other point of view at the story, at Christian’s point of view. Right now it was published and you are able to check out Fifty Shades of Grey as told by Christian PDF version.
Sex is so versatile, that can happen most surrendered to the most fearful seriousness eroticism, ending in the good mood that leaves a pleasant intercourse with the person you love or with a guy that had you win.
As well, to continue the good vibes that the majority of people causes us sex, let’s make you laugh with this article, which condenses the 5 best jokes about sex.
So relax and take a break in the hectic routine that many have for you to enjoy and distracted your mind through the best weapon of all: the comedy.
Surprise your partner with: the 10 sexiest men and women costumes
Let’s have fun with these sex jokes!
We made a collection of those who believe the best sex jokes published by several pages of jokes on the Internet and these were those who selected:
1. criminals attacked a convent and decide to rape nuns. In the Act one exclaims:
My God… forgive them, they know not what they do!
And yelled out another nun:
Will be yours, mine is an expert!
2. What is the smallest club in the world? The vagina, because a member is only and stopped.
3. This is ‘Louie’ that hears him say to his Dad: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Louie asks his father: Daddy, what do you do?
As it is very easy son, looks: 1 entered the room, 2 she enters, 3 me nude, 4 nude, 5 is put it, bag it 6, 7 I seen, dress 8, 9 I go out, 10 comes out.
Louie the next day brings a friend home and his father hears 1 2 3 4 5 6 5 6 5 6 5 6 5 6…
Do not miss!: 5 hair close to your partner go mad designs
4. This is a meeting of men and the moderator asks: how many people does the love once a day?
And 56 people raise their hands.
Then he asked. And how many people does it 3 times a week?
And 14 people raise their hands.
Still wondering. How many people does it once a month? And they raise their hands 29.
And the moderator makes the last question. And who makes love once a year?
And you hear: I, I, I, tells the moderator and you are so happy? And the party answers: because I play today!
5 after a night at the disco, she and he go home for it and spend the night making love, he becomes aware of the photo of another man in the bedside table and begins to ask:
According to the Royal Academy of the Spanish language, RAE, a joke is a saying or very brief cartoon that contains a verbal or conceptual game capable of moving to laughter, but where did you get this way to amuse people?, who was it invented?
According to the official website of the Spanish language, elcastellano.org, not known exactly who was the first person that occurred to him tell a joke, but if it is known that in our ancestors the younger, in the presence of the opposite sex, had jokes hidden that most of times they were obscene, there arose the word joke, coming from the verb to jokes.
In the origins of the Castilian language, jokes means cuchichear or speak in a low voice, this word is documented in our language since the 13th century.
Tell us about other jokes about sex that you know or have heard… and to laugh is said!
The games are an alternative and opportunity to learn and have fun. It is a space that allows various tools to develop skills, both in terms of calculation, logic, language, and decision making.
Almost no children perceive the mix of fun and learning, but the truth is that they have become a powerful tool for learning, even for therapists work.
It is allowing counting, sequencing, devise strategies…
The market offers a long list of possibilities. Some of the most well-known and popular among children, for example, are:
Domino: Fun and simple game, ideal for older children. You only need a game of dominoes.The first to use all of your chips will win.
The Capital is similar to Monopoly.
Monopoly:It is the game of buy, rent or sell properties, for big profits, so that one of the players get to be the most rich and, therefore, the winner.
Lynx eye:Game suitable for children from age 5, the fastest to find figure on the Board is the winner.
Ludo:Also called Parkase, is a variation of simplified for children from the traditional Indian game pachisi , made in England in 1896. Ludo means “I play” in latin. It is very similar to the Western adaptation calledLudo.
Store:Or couples, is to find pairs of cards.There is the possibility to play on the same computer.
Ladies :Game very widespread all over the planet. The game takes place on the same Board as the chess but with round black and white pieces called pawns.
Bingo or lottery:If they don’t have one at home, you can play on this site amusedly at the computer. This site allows you to even print cartons.
Slides and ladders:The winner of the game is one that manages to reach the first box number 100 of a 10 x 10 Board. The game is being developed by shifts in which pulls a single given, and should be move as many spaces as points are obtained in the Chuck. When it falls in a box where the top of a staircase is painted, take the shortcut that allows you to upload quickly to areas closer to the goal. However, when the tail of one of the many drawn snakes is depressed, it descends to the head of it.
Card games:Play triplets and to form scales may be an alternative. Another practice is the card game one, where you have to place a card of the same color or the same number on the Charter of the Center. The special cards allow you to change color, force the next player to draw cards etc. The first who runs out of cards wins.
playground equipment indoor canada: One of the first of its kind, the Polar Playground at the Assiniboine Zoo is a fully immersive play area designed as an arctic wonderland of active participation. Designed to educate and entertain visitors on the great polar bears of Churchill.
Those games aimed at children, have the advantage that your users are experiencing their first experiences so the world that surrounds them, cause them with curiosity.
Ideally, children play games in family, together. It is an experience that many specialists even have him healthy as long as it’s an instance where you can practice skills, values, skills, principles, logic and many essential elements for performance in everyday life.
One of the most valuable lessons, is that children learn to master the frustration at the failure: learning that sometimes you win, and others, is lost.
We must show them that the best is the good time we spent playing together.
Specialists warn that it is essential to make them understand that mistakes or lose, are opportunities that are presented to improve and learn.
To be learning to take well the situation, it is good to tell you that we are proud of your new way of seeing things, our praise will be his best reward.
Laughter is a basic ingredient for the health of children. It’s great to laugh! The best remedy to dare, and that does not have contraindications. And if the laughter is good, nothing better than to share it with others. Jokes cause good and big smiles to the family. Thinking about it, youtube on fire has selected the best jokes from watch fear the walking dead pilot for children.
Do you think if we started a few jokes? Jokes stimulate good humor of children, promote laughter, develop their vocabulary, and amuse you. They cause good and big smiles on your children.
Ideas of jokes from movies for children
First Act: A gum turning bike. Second Act: the same gum turning another bike. Third Act: chewing gum is still spinning bike. What is the name of the film? RETURN CHICLISTICA.
The curtain is opened: -First Act: a bald combing -Second Act: the same bald combing -Third Act: the bald is still combing The curtain closes. What is the name of the film? MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
First Act: get a pig taking off Second Act: a pig flies Third Act: get a pork landing What is the name of the film? AERO-PORK
The curtain opens and you see two fetuses in the uterus. You look at them and slowly begin to move… are given a kiss… What is the movie called? FETAL ATTRACTION.
The curtain opens and you see a hair on a bed. How do the film entitled? SLEEPING BEAUTY HAIR
The curtain rises and looks a guy with a Jewish head humming a song. What is the name of the film? SINGING UNDER THE BEAN
First Act: leaves a man ironing. Second Act: leaves a man scrubbing Third Act: leaves a man washing What is the name of the film? MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
The curtain opens and sees a woman who goes to the hairdresser for curling hair and is closed… What is the name of the film? AH! TEA RIPPLING AS YOU CAN. (It lands as you can)
How locate police or spy agencies to terrorists in social networks or Internet forums?
The most logical, from a computing point of view, is to make sweeps with a software that looks for keywords, relevant search phrases with information related to terrorism.
The problem is that a computer program, an algorithm, is not able to identify the irony, jokes, joke, or uncontrolled outburst.
If you are watching a football match and a player of the opposing team puts three goals, maybe a comment to escape you in networks of the type: “what the cut leg to that!”. A friend of yours has humiliated you playing online Counter Strike 2 and you loose by WhatsApp, “I’m going home and I’m going to beat!”. Or after a bad day at work, you comment in jest teammates you’re going to put a bomb to your heads.
Anyone interprets instantly that they are comments that you will never put into practice, but for an algorithm to search for crimes by the network, may be a murder suspect, or terrorist.
Of course, the police will not go to stop if you write something in the networks. Although a programme identify this type of conversations as suspicious, they must pass several human filters that will immediately detect whether or not it is an unimportant conversation. But this does lose much time to agents, which should filter out much information manually.
New techniques of programming based on the Machine Learning or Learning machine, aim apply artificial intelligence algorithms.Force programs to think on their own.
Eden Saig, a computer scientist at the Israel Institute of technology, It has devised an algorithm of learning that is able to understand the jokesand ironies enclosed in a text message. And it uses the comedians Facebook pages.
Analyzing Facebook humor websites, the algorithm extracts expressions, tag, design project management software, semantic and grammatical constructions, and other schemes that appear in jokes, ironic phrases, or outbursts.Also examines complementary aspects, as having a comment many I like, something that wouldn’t happen with a sentence written by a terrorist or other criminal.
As explained by the own Eden Saig, its algorithm is capable of identifying feelings condescending or concern, and can even send text messages to the authors when they are too arrogant. And it seems to work, because it has recently won the Amdocs Best Project Contest award.
The applications of an algorithm capable of detecting the jokes and ironies in a text are innumerable. The first objective, nothing strange case of an israeli project, is to serve tool police saving work to identify possible terrorists, to prevent false alarms related to jokes or simple meaningless comments.
But they are also investigating its application in detecting depressivepeople, and even suicidal tendenciess, in the own social networks.
A software that learns and improves as they analyze more websites and receive more data. The essence of Machine Learning, the future of programming.
The “Madam” opened the door of the brothel and found with an elegant middle-aged gentleman.
-I can help you? Asked the madama.
-I want to see Natalie, replied the Lord.
-Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps some other girls…?
-I must see Natalie – no, he replied.
Then came the such Natalie (lady escorts london) to explain to the gentleman that she charged U$ S 1,000 per visit.
Without flinching, the man put his hand in his pocket and gave ten one hundred dollar bills. Both went to one room and after an hour Mr. went very quiet.
The next night, the same gentleman appeared again demanding to see Natalie. Natalie replied that it was very rare for anyone to visit the place two nights in a row and that or think of discounts. Again the man cast hand of their tickets and gave him ten $ 100. Then, as the day before, along with Natalie, he went to one of the rooms for an hour and left.
When he appeared again a third consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again he handed Natalie thousand dollars and they went both to a room for an hour. As they were leaving, Natalie said to the man:
-No one has used my “services” for three consecutive nights. Where are you?
The Lord replied:
-Really? She answered. I have family in that city.
-I know it, said Knight. His father passed away and I am the lawyer of her sisters… They asked me to surrender him his share of the inheritance: $3,000. Good night. It has been a pleasure.
Moral:Certain things in this world are inevitable: death, taxes and it fuck you a lawyer.
This crisis has so left hand and has so many hands it seems that what one gives it, another removes it.
So far we had become used to read that economic difficulties, unemployment and insecurity was reducing the number of divorces in Spain by the simple procedure to add patience to not having clear where you will go if separates.
As well: it also seems that the opposite is true.
According to some advisors, are beginning to extend the preventive divorces, those in which the two spouses are taking great, share everyday life and not discussed more than usual, but with the proviso that passed by the Court to dissolve your marriage and simulate before court, battle it out for their property.
And what is the reason? So that when a mortgage broker is not paid in time and form, the Bank can take your House. But when there is an mortgage and a divorce, the law means that the spouse who stays with the House is especially unprotected, and the House happens to be unattachable unless until children reach the age of majority.
If it is, for example, that the husband is the owner of the House and closed his company, is more than likely that housing be assigned to his wife and children. In this case, the wife and children not can be evicted by the Bank, nor are holders of housing or responsible for the debt, so debt the husband can not harm the rights of the wife and even less to the minors.
In any case, and if the Bank strives to maintain however, you can run it, but you can never put in the street its occupants, with what the banks, suddenly, feel a tremendous desire to negotiate anything that proposes them.
And meanwhile what about the husband? Therefore simple: what, at a stroke, of being husband to lover of the occupant. Groom, turban, or partner.
Who’s going to prohibit that lady to be with anyone?
digital agency thailand has created a soluble cocoa with the symbols of the region which, thanks to social networks, has sold more than 2,000 units in less than two months.
The Manocao triumphs in Zaragoza
Beers, bars and friends are the germ of the wildest ideas, but few are entrepreneurs who dare to put into practice what is ingenia amid laughter. Among these few brave are Laura and Carmelo, the creators of the ‘ Manocao, hand what cocoa ‘.The idea, as Carmelo, emerged in a night talk with friends.To continue the joke the next day, this Zaragoza asked Laura, graphic designer of the study Name, that create a label for a boat with the funny name.There it all began.
Two months later, the new spirit hand soluble cocoa is a reality that is sold in various shops of the Aragonese capital and in online stores.In addition, this week it has begun testing in supermarkets Simply in the area.
A factory of chocolates, also Aragonese, with extensive experience in the sector, created a single formula for the product and is in charge of its industrial production.“I knew the owners and I had a first print run of 150 boats for friends as a favor, but bundled the thing, we commissioned 150 more and now already we will finish a consignment of 2,000″, explains Carmelo.
Pull the cachirulo on social networks
“The fun image of the product, a seed of cocoa with the unmistakable cachirulo, in addition to a name with pull through these lands, has found your step to fame in social networks. ” Two months ago that Laura decided to post it on Facebook, and we already have over 1,000 followers. People of many sites write to us because the product makes you laugh”.
More stubborn seed they accompany him on the label the basilica of the pillar, but also more international monuments such as the statue of liberty, the Eiffel Tower or the pyramids of Giza. And is that this cacaco ‘ Cabezón ‘ not only serves as food, but is is making in companion of travel of many Aragonese that is photographed with the boat in different places, as the Teide or the square of the O-ring, for then upload them to the wall of ‘ Manocao’ showing your support to this sympathetic idea.
“The motto is Manocao, hand what cocoa!” but prefer the of share it with them friends because thanks to the support of all the world have got that born and is go spreading“, thanks Carmelo.”
Heart Aragonese and spirit global
This new product, explain its creators, has a taste more similar to the Cola Cao that to the Nesquik, but with a touch different. In his Facebook it defined as “a cacao soluble with heart Aragonese and spirit global that has a delicious flavor to chocolate and much sense of the humor”.
Carmelo says that it made the test with their daughters who were “fans of the Cola Cao” to see if they liked. “Are now fans of the Manocao, we still have the boat of the competition but I’m looking at it and seems to not lower”, says laughing. “How important is that, in addition to grace, everyone says that it is very good and that is something that we are proud,” he added.
Anecdote or business?
The seed mana has a price on them 4 euros the pot of 900 grams, and among them 2 or 2.5 euros the of 500 grams. The first store in interest is was the bakery of Cristian in the street of Serrano Sanz. Now already is has extended coming even to jump the border Zaragoza until the lands Teruel of Andorra. Also by internet the shop Jacaspe allows ordering of this product.
While the first large circulation of 2,000 boats already is nearing exhaustion and tests in supermarkets Simply, developers still do not speak of numbers or the future of the business.
“We do not set ourselves goals, at the moment we will doing what comes up because until now the product looks two steps ahead our.” Two months ago it was a joke and now we don’t know if it will be in summer anecdote or something much larger, “concludes Carmelo.
A cowboy is an Indian lying beside the road with his ear to the ground and asks, what ?. The Indian replied:
– Large Carreta, four wheels, four horses, wagon carrying white man, shotgun in his arms, the white man side, pretty woman, long hair, woman carrying newborn child in her arms.
The cowboy surprised he said:
– Damn !, I had heard about the ability of Indians to detect whether horses or carts come just stick the ear to the ground but you surprised me, how is it that can give many details just stick your ear to the ground?
– It is that, just run me over!
There was a robbery at a jewelry store. The police arrive to find the broken and an old beggar at the door door. Cops say:
This is the thief! . Let’s take it to the park fountain to confess
Take him and put his head under water; take it out and ask:
Where are the jewels?
The old man did not answer anything, then they return to get longer. They pull back:
Where are the jewels?
Nothing short answer, they put the third time, for a couple of minutes, then the old man raises his hand; a policeman says:
You will speak!
They pull and ask:
Let’s see, where are the jewels? What does that mean?
Answer the elderly:
Call a diver because I see nothing in the pond.
A man going to the telegraph office and ask them to send a message that says:
– “Wenceslas, go take it up the ass.”
The officer is thought a moment, then asked:
– Hey, and Wenceslao as it gets ?
– Well, it does not … I imagine it will have to put under and ..
– Hello, good morning. I get a replacement pages for the folder?
– Any particular brand?
– No, thanks, I do not care.
– Yeah, well, but as I want? Smooth, graph, with lines?
– Grid, please.
– With what size you want the pictures?
– This …
– I have normal 4 millimeters, but I can also give centimetrado paper, or half a centimeter, or large inch.
– I do not care, four millimeters.
– The white paper and black stripes, I imagine.
– Yeah, yeah.
– With margin or no margin?
– Well, with margin.
– What color stripe bank wants ?
– Well … not that colors have?
– A few … red, black, blue …
– Red same, for more.
– How many holes have your wallet?
– With rounded corners?
– No, look, I do not care.
– And what size? Pamphlet, sheet, foil, Dutch, …?
– Okay, look, we can do is that I am with folder and you give me a replacement just like the one I have now, okay?
– Well, yeah, if you want …
Overall, the guy goes dizzy from the library and the door is a friend of his with a toilet shoulder, telling you:
– man, Manolo, who may
– Look, not very well, because he came to buy sheets for the folder, but the guy who has attended a plasta me and given me a headache I can not stand me.
– They’re going to say to me! I came this morning for a roll of toilet paper, and look, I have to bring me to the toilet you take measurements. >>
A couple in bed. The husband says
? -Maria, I let you target by ear
But you’re crazy ??? !!! What do you want, me to stay deaf ?? !!
Damn, I have twenty anyos metiendotela by mouth and yet you have not been silent !!!